Paint With Words, © 2003. 2010 Get It Together Productions, All rights reserved
Writers are artists, and keeping that in mind will really improve what you write. When developing scenes, the image of the environment is evoked by the writing. The manuscript (soon to be book) is the canvas, sentences and phrasing are the brushes; your words give color. All this creates Sense of Place; Sense of Place is vital to fact and fiction; it's an element of writing most readers appreciate, even if not consciously. Readers want to feel as if they are in the scene.
Some writers overuse adjectives with the mistaken belief that this will offer sense of place. But saying "the elegant house" isn't enough. That abstraction has little substance. "The well-landscaped house set on a knoll overseeing the valley" might paint a better picture. Another attempt to set a scene is to list things.
Brenda looked around. The room had a brass coffee table, and a bright sofa flanked by two Queen Anne chairs. Three prints were on one wall, with the sheer curtains hanging at the wide window. Two ornate candlesticks set on the fireplace mantle.
Brenda has become a camera, with no emotion attached to the description. The above paragraph might work better:
Brenda liked cozy look of the bright sofa, flanked by Queen Anne chairs. She admired the three Monet prints, and fingered an ornate candlestick on the mantle. Scents of lilac wafted through the wide window, as a breeze billowed the curtains. The books on the brass coffee table caught her eye.
This second paragraph uses only nine more words than the first, yet inserts the character into the description of the room; hence, the reader learns about the room and the character.
Painting with words is not just a fiction element. Creating sense of place is important in nonfiction, too. A manual might read:
When managing a large office setting, it's important to develop good interaction between employees.
Large office setting is rather vague, and so is good interaction. To give this sentence sense of place, it could be written:
When faced with multiple workstations, harsh lighting and the continual background noises of telephones and copy machines, it's important to encourage dialogue with all employees.* * *
But fiction is where this element of writing is most useful, and the sense of place in any scene becomes stronger when it is reinforced throughout a paragraph or section to enhance the story. Take a look at a scene of a man whose car has broken down on a stretch of Kansas back road; here are the basics: Robert stood in the July sun beside his useless car. He looked around, but didn't see any houses.
Not terribly interesting, is it? Perk it up a bit: The hot July sun bore down on Robert.
The time of year has been added! Now this must carry through the scene....beside his useless car.... can be painted: Robert wiped sweat from his forehead and squinted toward his useless car. Wiped sweat (it's hot) squinted (it's bright). He looked around, but didn't see any houses... would work better as: The surrounding fields of ripening wheat seemed unending, without a single roofline or driveway in sight.
Good sense of place also engages all five senses. Include colors, smells and textures in descriptions. Here is Robert revised:
The hot July sun bore down as Robert backed from his vehicle. Why now? he wondered. He wiped sweat from his forehead and squinted at his useless car. He could smell hot metal from the engine. A puddle of radiator fluid stained the gray asphalt a sickly green. His sigh was barely audible in the dry wind, and the surrounding fields of ripening wheat seemed unending, without a single roofline or driveway in sight.* * *
Weather and nature also establish a sense of place. A story based in the tropics could be rife with descriptions of humidity, vivid sunsets, blown sand, myriad scents and colors from vegetation; on the negative, these areas also have hurricanes, riptides, mosquitoes, sink holes and sharks.
With a few well-placed phrases, a writer can provide a definite picture and sense of place. Doing this will strengthen characterizations and greatly add to a reader's enjoyment of the final product.
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